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brendan & the over​-​extended circumstances (262 songs, volume 2)

by Brendan Milburn

/
1.
Dude. Dude, you totally nailed it. Dude, it's really, really, really, really good. Dude, you built the ship and you sailed it. And you got it safely into the harbor just like I knew that you would. Okay sure, some other people took over, 'cause that's the hollywood way, and almost nobody gets a solo screenwriting credit these days but man, I just gotta say that dude, dude, you totally nailed it, dude, it's really, really good. Dude, dude, you've totally made it, dude, you did precisely what you said you'd do. Dude, you set a course and you stayed it, and your faith in yourself is exemplary, and I'm so impressed with you. 'Cause my eleven-year-old son, well he thought the movie was "totally rad." and my son is a very judgmental reviewer of films, so you oughta be glad. and dude, dude, you totally made it, I think you made your dreams come true. and holy crap I miss you and I miss those days when we were young and ignorant and full of shit and full of hope and joy we were following our bliss, you in your stories and impromptu sonnets, me all making songs and being difficult to employ and then our paths diverged somehow with me leaping off of cliffs, and making big mistakes that I could repent at leisure later, while you preferred more certainty to my exhausting pile of ifs, and you preferred to have a more reliably stocked refrigerator, but this song is not about me, for crying out loud, this song is all about how you worked your ass off, and rose above the crowd, this song is about what matters most, which is how freaking proud I am of you, I am so proud of you, I am so proud. Dude. Dude, I can't help but see you, up there in technicolor for the whole wide world to see. Dude, yeah this guy, he could be you, the guy with the brain and the ego to match, and I'm sure you would agree: the guy who was sure that his rational mind would be all he would ever need, and is forced to discover the world in his heart before he can grow up and succeed, and dude, whatever it was that did free you, well, the guy I knew twenty years ago would never have written this deep and wise picture show and it's clear all these years you've continued to grow into the amazing man I knew you could be, and it thrills me to sit in the theatre and say to my son, that's my buddy who wrote this thing, and so we wait through the credits and point to your name and applaud, my eleven-year-old son and me. [Dude, thanks for a most excellent father-son movie date.] [I'm looking forward to Passengers.]
2.
Well, it's been tough these past few weeks not to feel like this whole world is headed for a big hot messy apocalypse 'cause whenever that orange fella speaks, his freak flag flies unfurled, with a flapping image of a turd sandwich sprinkled with chocolate chips and it's hard to keep your head up on days like this and it's easy to be fed up on days like this with a creeping sense of dread up on days like this, oh yes but every now and then a miraculous event will come along and restore your faith in humanity yeah every now and then, that straight path doesn't looks so bent, and the act of getting out of bed doesn't feel so much like insanity 'cause every now and then even a die-hard pessimist can be forced, perhaps at gunpoint, to confess that every now and then every now and then things suck less. well it sucks when you feel cold and it sucks when you feel wet and feeling cold and wet simultaneously sucks more. when you put your life on hold to face the very real threat that your water and your ancestral burial grounds might be sacrificed to fuel some trucks more. when you're sprayed with freezing water on days like this protesting lambs to the slaughter on days like this feeling like you're cannon fodder on days like this, oh yes but every now and then the army corps of engineers up and decides to do the right thing and show some Christian charity yes, every now and then, all the months and all the tears lead up to the outcome that'll go down in posterity as an "every now and then" kinda beautiful Frank Capra moment, in a year when everything else was just a mess, yeah, every now and then every now and then things suck less. but don't you worry, all this progress could slip right back down hill and ultimately, one way or another, it probably will but the price of democracy is eternal vigilance, and I don't know about you, but I'm super-vigilant since this election went so wretchedly and made me vomit and wince and I'm missing Leonard Cohen, David Bowie and Prince but every now and then, toward the end of the year, something sets our hearts at ease so for now, let's celebrate the sweetness of life's rare victories. and every once in literally ever, a group of hundreds of American vets will kneel in front of native american elders and ask for forgiveness and what seemed like a hopeless endeavor that could only lead to regrets turns out so freaking amazing that I just can't quite believe this. yeah, every now and then this extremely cynical songwriter who's been sure that we're hanging ourselves with our own American rope yeah, every now and then every now and then I find there's still hope.
3.
You are not what I expected and I doubt I'm what you dreamed of every night but I was wrong for so damn long, and today I stand corrected 'cause I look at you, and I know I got one thing right. I never planned to start again, though. And I know you didn't plan to take this ride, but when I met you the plans I made flew right on out the window of the jail cell I had locked myself inside. 'cause you unlocked me yeah, you set me free. you unlocked me when I had thrown away the key. When I couldn't take it anymore, when I had given up the fight, then you opened up the door and you let in all the light you unlocked me when I was locked away and so far down you unblocked me and made me decide that I wanna stick around. I spent the first half of my life being so damn certain of what was right or wrong, and what was false or true I'm staring down the other side of my existence coming to grips with how I don't know anything in this whole world except that I love dogs and playing with my kids and making songs and you. you're the last thing I imagined and you didn't picture me for wedded bliss. how miraculous it is, then, to look back on life's rich pageant and see how it all led right on up to this. 'cause you unlocked me yeah, you set me free. you unlocked me when I had thrown away the key. when I had given up the ghost, when I was slipping down the drain, when I needed you the most you came right out of the rain, and you unlocked me, when I was already five or six feet underground. You got the defibrillators and shocked me Saw my empty shelves and you restocked me Played me some beastie boys and then you rocked me deflated my balloon of self-importance and playfully mocked me I'm tryin' to tell you, you have unlocked me and made me decide that I wanna stick around.
4.
I am doing the best that i can I am doing the best that i can yeah I been doing my very best and I can tell she's not impressed but I'm still doing the best that I can. well I got to let myself off the hook yeah I got to let myself off the hook I been hanging here so long trying to right my every wrong but my wrongs aren't getting righted and this sucks, so I decided that I got to let myself off the hook. I thought my job was being a knight in shining armor Saving her from dragons and such Turns out she didn't want a knight in shining armor turns out I don't like wearing shining armor very much so I'm digging myself out of this hole yeah I'm digging myself out of this hole I been praying that god above'll send me down a frickin' shovel but no answer to my prayers has come from the man upstairs tired of waiting, so I figger I'm an experienced hole digger, and I'm digging myself out of this hole. I thought my job was fixing things for everybody anticipating things that would go wrong but if you spend your life fixing things for everybody you'll liable to get broken up yourself before too long I am doing the best that I can I am doing the best that I can I been trying to make an omelet without breaking any eggs I been trying to wag my tail with my tail between my legs I been trying to fill a round hole but I only got square pegs I am trying to be an honorable man none of this has gone according to my plan and I am doing the very best that I can.
5.
hey no that's all right that's okay hey no yeah, no, sure, be my guest hey, don't let me stand in your way yeah, you bet, I wish you the best you are coming in loud and clear I read the sign, says "do not disturb." I'll just keep on hanging right here where you stopped the car, and you opened the door, and you kicked my ass to the curb, motherfucker. I hope you lost a whole lot of sleep I hope you lost a whole lot of sleep I hope you spent a lot of nights having trouble meeting your reflection in the bathroom mirror and trying as hard as you can not to weep I hope you lost a whole lot of sleep maybe a vacation in rome. take some time, and savor this success click your heels and you'll be back home in ruby slippers and a gingham blue dress no one knows the deeds that you did no one knows the deeds that you do except for me and I'm watching you kid I can't touch you, but I can sing about ya, you and your little dog too. well I hope you lost a whole lot of sleep yeah I hope you lost a whole lot of sleep hope you get a bad case of vertigo, riding that rollercoaster all the way the hell up to the tippy-top of the heap I hope you lost a whole lot. me I'm just a camel hauling people and goods here and there and all over town lost my marbles, I'm still not out of the woods the dam broke and spilled 'em out all over the ground. me I'm just a master mixer of metaphor, wait I said I'm a camel, so that's what I am. but you are the straw that broke the back of this metaphorical camel's metaphorical Hoover dam. was that too clever for its own good? probably. let's make things simpler, shall we? I hope you lost a whole lot of sleep yeah I hope you lost a whole lot of sleep. yeah I hope you feel an upwelling of regret and remorse over all of the promises that you made and then you chose not to keep. I hope you lost a whole lot of sleep.
6.
and as the year draws to a close we demarcate the time gone by with bubbly wine and party clothes and fireworks up in the sky and it's so easy to give way and let nostalgia shamble in and take a seat behind your rolltop desk and point out all that might have been and highlight mistakes that you have made and memories that'll make you cry the best of plans from which you strayed the golden chance you let slip by. but the time gone by is gone it's not for you to ruminate upon tomorrow the sun will rise and bring the dawn. and you'll keep going on. The time gone by is gone. we'll drink a cup of kindness yet a cup of coffee when we wake let's bid goodby to all regret let's close the door on old heartache let old acquaintances be acquitted of misdemeanors they committed let all the water underneath this bridge wash the stain of any crime let's take a breath, hope for the best, and keep close watch on that cuckoo's nest and make one resolution: to do better next time 'cause the time gone by is gone it's not for you to ruminate upon tomorrow the sun will rise and bring the dawn. and you'll keep going on. the time gone by is gone.
7.
my name is super-disappointed. my name is epically sad. my name is made a big play for your love my name is holy crap your rejection feels so bad my name is what were you thinking? my name is are you insane? my name is what kind of kool-aid have you been drinking you should pour that shit right down the drain you chose wrong you chose wrong we had such a good thing going on, now that good thing is going, going, gone, you chose somebody who'll take away the things you love and never look back. I think you'll find he's not too good in the sack. you chose wrong, and you'll be sorry. my name is super-incredulous my name is really surprised my name is looking back in hindsight, I shoulda seen the signs, yeah I shoulda realized my name is deeply embarrassed my name is licking my wounds my name is trying to forget you existed, my name is eating cheetos and watching saturday morning cartoons. you chose wrong you chose wrong kept me waiting and hoping all night long while you were listenin' to his stupid siren song you chose somebody who's making all these promises he'll never fulfill but you'll be hanging on and hoping he will. you chose wrong, and you'll be sorry. I get it, I get it, you feel I'm too old-school, and taking me to the prom would be too old hat. you needed a change from the way things were, and you are completely convinced I'm the epitome of that. I look at our breakup like the end of an era, like Rome just before it was sacked by invaders, or France, a few months before they stormed the Bastille, or Russia before Lenin and his communist crusaders. you needed a change, and you're getting a change, you're gonna see just what your new boyfriend is made of. you won't get the change that you thought you were getting, and that's what I'm afraid of. my name is hillary rodham clinton my name is now I bid you farewell my name is I am done with all this bullshit and I'm gonna go walk my dog and you can all go to hell. you chose wrong you chose wrong you chose him when you could have had me you chose giving up on making history you chose a broken, big baby who lies every time he opens his mouth. good job, you big midwest, you southeast and south, you chose wrong and you'll be sorry.
8.
in the streetlight glare concrete pavement gray in the chilly winter air end of night turns into day wobbly on your feet with your smile turned down on this crowded southside street in this lonely part of town if the piece of sky you bit off is too big for your mouth if your glorious plans for the evening spread their wings and all flew south then i, i will take you home i, i will take you home if the year gone by was too much to take and you could either laugh or cry you might bend or you might break if the bar was loud if the music sucked if you're tired of the crowd, if you're gonna self-destruct, if you're drunk, coked up, or stoned or maybe all of the above if you were looking a little too hard tonight for somebody you could love then i, i will take you home i, i will take you home everything's cool, and it's all all right everything's cool, you've been out all night everything's cool, and it's almost light outside, just enjoy the ride, and i will take you home. tomorrow's just another day tomorrow's just another day tomorrow's already here when you think about it so take another bottle of water keep a bucket by your bedside and when it feels like things are coming to an end, these are the magic words you can say tomorrow's just another day. then i, i will take you home i, i will take you home everything's cool, and it's all all right everything's cool, you've been out all night everything's cool, and it's almost light outside, just enjoy the ride, and i will take you home.
9.
what do you do when there's nothing left to be done? what do you say when there's no more words to be said? how do you fight, when the bad guys already won? how do you get out of bed when you just want to stay home and hide your head? how do you stand, when you're weighted down with your grief? how do you quell all the queasiness this day will bring? how do you drown out this noxious "hail to the chief"? what can you do? what can you say? what can you sing? you sing: this little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine this little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine this little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine let it shine, let it shine, let it shine I'm gonna be a beacon, I'm gonna be a lighthouse shining over these stormy seas of hate and hopelessness and fear I'm gonna be a searchlight I'm gonna be a luminary I'm gonna keep my porchlight on so all will know they are welcome here "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" and let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. I'm gonna be a beacon, I'm gonna be a lighthouse shining over these stormy seas of hate and hopelessness and fear I'm gonna be a lighthouse
10.
every day I face the fear that I'm irrelevant and dated, that I'm only taking space up here until the day I die every day I worry that my market's oversaturated, there is no room at the table, there will be no piece of pie for me to eat my fill I might as well update my will and for twenty years I've tried and tried to make things out of nothing and convince the world my nothing-things are just the thing they need I've had a taste of turkey gravy, now I'm addicted to the stuffing, I've had just enough success to know that I cannot succeed if I go on like this going broke and clawing after my bliss but now I'm ACTUALLY ACTUALLY ACTUALLY doing something to help others, I am ACTUALLY ACTUALLY ACTUALLY helping out my sisters and my brothers see, before I wasn't thriving, I was striving to survive now for the first time in twenty years I can finally breathe and feel alive yeah I actually got my head out of my ass, and man the view is great, there's so much more out here to see yeah I'm actually doing something: I'm getting people where they oughta gotta be. I take people to the airport, I take people home from bars, and I go pick up food they ordered and I bring it to their door, I am taking care of people, keeping drunks out of their cars, and this line of work is working for me, why didn't I think of this before I lived so long with less, & this feels like happiness, where I'm ACTUALLY ACTUALLY ACTUALLY making just a little difference, I am ACTUALLY ACTUALLY ACTUALLY no longer jumping off a cliff since I found a way to find a little meaning while I heal, I found a way to make a little living, and it's real, it is actually helping pay some bills and keeping me from unraveling and coming all apart at the seams it is actually a way of keeping going while I'm reaching for new dreams.
11.
I got a pre-existing condition I got this terminal disease I'm just wasting away a little more every day, so I'm begging, and I'm down on my knees, doctor, please I got this pre-existing condition got this cancer growing inside got this pre-existing condition, and it's my mission to discover if my coverage is gonna be denied. can you cover me? got this pre-existing condition stray bullets all over my neighborhood gotta get to the store to get some milk and I'm sure if I do not have protection then my chances do not look good. can you cover me? I got a social disease is what I'm trying to say it's in my genetic code, just like my sisters and brothers article one, section two, paragraph three of my DNA says some parts of me are worth three-fifths of the others my pre-existing condition is that I recognize the threat of the compromises made in my weak constitution my pre-existing condition is that I'm not dead yet, and I'm scrambling around for some kind of solution I got this pre-existing condition I am sexist and racist to the core I am deeply unequal but I'd like to live to see the sequel where the brotherhood of man can come back to the fore I got this pre-existing condition I got bigots knocking over my graves and my medulla oblongata is a crazy man who oughta be ashamed of how he twitters and how he misbehaves. can you cover me?
12.
at some point, you're supposed to be hitting your stride, right? at some point, you don't have all this bottled up inside, right? yeah, at some point, you are moving on up into a brand new double-wide, right? isn't that what it says in this brochure? there's supposed to be a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow but they don't tell you the trip will be fraught with misunderstandings and pain, though, I guess they were not kidding when they said no pain, no gain, yo. I mean, I think that's what it says in this brochure. just look just look lemme pull it out and show ya you can look, just look don't let the creases and dogeared edges throw ya, you should look, just look at all the attractive and exciting and successful friends just waiting to get to know ya reality is the disease and this here is the cure you'll find what you are seeking in this tri-fold color brochure aren't there supposed to be hotcakes and sausage for breakfast? and a policy of no sucker punches to your solar plexus? aren't you supposed to be forgiven for things you did and said when you were dumb and young and reckless? I thought I read something about that in this brochure at some point you're supposed be getting a lot more mature, right? at some point you're supposed to stop being so damned insecure, right? at some point your life is supposed to look more like the pages of that brochure, right? I thought that's what it said in this brochure. Lemme check the fine print of that brochure... I mean, look just look those well-dressed people look contented just look you should look, see, every skin color and hairstyle is clearly represented, you should look just look their teeth are white, their smiles are genuine and no-one looks demented reality is a disease and this here is the cure you'll find what you are seeking in this tri-fold color brochure I mean see the glossy photos and the fancy graphic design? the firm yet flexible paper on which it's printed feels so fine, the photos where everybody's good looking, and enjoying fancy food and wine nobody screws things up like I did and has to go back to the end of the line I wanna make that good life mine I wanted to make that good life mine but the daily grind is what I find most likely to endure And with each passing day it less and less resembles that brochure because what were once just some charming minor peccadilloes have hardened into calcified habits like petrified armadilloes sometimes when I look at the way things have gone I'd really really like to kill those people who printed up this extremely fanciful brochure. but I understand that the choice was mine all along, though I coulda worn my earplugs and turned down the siren song, though, nobody pushed me to dive in so deep and swim so strong, for so damn long, so that all I have left is this waterlogged brochure this frickin' waterlogged brochure I mean, look just look don't that lap of luxury look oh so comfy and inviting you can look, just look all those parties with those pretty people look so damned exciting you should look, just look everybody's rich and famous, and there's always lovely lighting reality is the disease and this here is the cure you'll find what you are seeking in this tri-fold color brochure
13.
this is normal this is natural this is the way things go this is everyday this is commonplace this is no terrible tale of woe you are at the railroad crossing, but the gates are coming down you can hear the whistle blowing, this train is coming into town & this is normal this is natural this is the way things go. this is shitty this is difficult you're learning things you didn't want to know this is annoying you get impatient the train rolls by, perhaps a little slow yeah the engine keeps on going, and boxcars come behind the conductor drives the train no matter what her state of mind & this is normal this is natural this is the way things go. this is the way things go this is the way things go don't dampen down your mojo or hang your head so low, Joe this is the way things go this is the way things go this is the way things go no time for introspection the tracks go one direction this is the way things go. you can pull a diva moment or a drunken Dylan Thomas and you can rage and rage and rage against the dying of the light or you can hold a hand and kiss a forehead, and make a promise to help someone go just a little more gently into that good night. this is fucked-up this is stupid this is not the way you wanted things to go this is painful this is awkward this may feel like the world's worst shit-show. but the terminal is the station at the very end of the line it's where everybody disembarks, and this is right and this is fine, & this is normal this is natural, this is the way things go. this is the way things go. this is the way things go. you knew this train was comin' you can hear them rails a thrummin' this is the way things go.
14.
you are going you've got one foot out the door you are going you don't want to be here anymore you are tired of this party, you are tired of these hors d'oeuvres you are tired of all these people, they are getting on your nerves you are tired, and you can't understand what I want to keep you round here for you are going and you don't want to stick around and see the final score. you are going you are not all here you are going and the parts of you that remain are acting kinda queer you are quick to lose your temper, you are quick to hold a grudge you are quick to close the case and be the jury and the judge you are angry, you're unhappy, you are suffering, and you're making it quite clear you are going and you won't be coming back, I fear. you've been going for a long time you've been going far and wide you've been going off the handle at the wrong time you've been going more than just a little off the rails inside you've been going into battle you've been going toe to toe with everyone including me you've been going up the creek without the aid of any paddle you've been going up and down the stairs, so it was bound to happen eventually. you are going you are not all there you are going you have puzzle pieces flying everywhere You were there for me when I came to this party all wet behind the ears introduced me all around, did all you could to allay my fears nobody's done more to shape me into the man I am today, I swear you are going and I want to make sure you know how much I care when you're ready, when you say it's time to go I'll be there.
15.
Can we please let up on the speed of the grindstone Can we please let up on the pressure on my nose Can we please bypass this parade of disappointments Can we please try a detour down that alley and just see where it goes for a while For a while Can we please make a break for the door, for the exit Can we please make a plan to escape from this place Gotta get off the bus 'fore the bus driver wrecks it Gotta get somewhere safe where I might hide my sorry face for a while For a while 'Cause I am wearing out I am wearing out Can we please call a truce, call time out, and say uncle Can we please take a rain check, take a powder, take a nap Can we please find the way, get us out of this jungle Can we please find some joy somewhere off of the map for a while For a while Because I am wearing out. I am wearing out. It's all too much I can't keep up My sharpened edges are so dull It's all too much I can't keep up I think my memory's almost full It's all too much I can't keep up Yeah, this is really not much fun It's all too much It's all too much It's all too much It's all too much It's all too much It's all too much Yeah, I'm done. 'Cause I am wearing out. I am wearing out. I am wearing out. I am wearing out.
16.
I don't mean to make light of your pain I don't mean to make fun of your sorrow But I can't watch you standing out in the rain And cryin like there's no tomorrow No matter how bad you got it, You know somebody's got it worse And until the day that you check out And they come for you in a hearse, Then tomorrow's another motherfuckin' day Yeah tomorrow's another motherfuckin' day You're not dead yet motherfucker So shut the fuck up anyway 'Cause tomorrow's another motherfuckin day. Did a flock of pigeons shit on your car? Did your neighbor shoot your dog and your cat? Did your mommy say something that pushed you too far? Is it really just as bad as all that? No matter how how shitty your life is Somebody else's is shittier So quit with the pity party babe And things'll begin to look prettier 'Cause tomorrow's another motherfuckin day Yeah tomorrow's another motherfuckin day All you can control is your attitude And they get out of your own fuckin' way And tomorrow's another motherfuckin day. Yeah tomorrow's another motherfuckin day tomorrow's another motherfuckin day tomorrow the forecast is more shitty weather but be that as it may tomorrow's another motherfuckin day.

about

The second batch of 16 songs, covering fun topics like the end of a tough year, the inauguration of the wrong person for president, and the fallout from my mom falling down the stairs. If you're really digging this, please support me week by week at my patreon: www.patreon.com/BrendanMilburn

credits

released May 15, 2017

all singing and instrumenting and producering by Brendan Milburn
All songs copyright (c) 2016, 2017 by Brendan Milburn, published by WB Music Corp. All rights reserved, but if you wanna use this for something reach out to me and and let's work something out.

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Brendan Milburn Seattle, Washington

Brendan Milburn is a music teacher and a dad. In his former life he wrote musicals, songs for animated movies, shows for theme parks and cruise lines. He used to play in a band called GrooveLily. Now he has chickens, cats, and kids, and he is making a song a week. ... more

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