(These lyrics were inspired by a particularly inspired twitter rant by somebody calling himself "Julius Goat." It's hilarious and painful; you should check it out. It's here: https://twitter.com/JuliusGoat/status/896326301832925184 )

you're feeling like you're so oppressed
you're feeling like you're being replaced
you're feeling like you're second-best
you're worried that you'll be erased

well I feel for you, I do,
yeah, the world's been bad to you,
it's a sad and sorry song, and you are singing it.
but while you're grieving all your losses,
and you're hanging on your crosses
here's a couple of thoughts that maybe just might ease the sting a bit:

at least nobody's telling you that you cannot get married
at least the color of your skin means you won't get pulled over, frisked and possibly harmed
at least nobody's knocking over the graves where your families are buried
at least no cops are shooting you while you're standing there, unarmed.
at least there's no massive effort
at the state and local level
to deprive you of your democratic and constitutional right to vote
at least no one's endeavored
to ban all your airplane travel
because of your religion, that's a little somethin' over which you can gloat.

I know the pain of your oppression is tough to bear, and makes you wanna give up the fight.
But hey, at least you're Christian, male, and white.

at least you're in no danger when you carry weapons publicly
at least your lovely churches haven't been terrorized or burned
at least you haven't been waterboarded in the CIA's bathtublicly
at least your ancestors weren't hung from trees, because they "just never learned."
at least there is no history
of centuries of bad science
devoted to quote-unquote "proving" your intellectual inferiority.
at list there is no mystery
of what you think is wrong with your clients
when you refuse to make a cake for their wedding because they're members of the same fraternity or sorority.

I know the pain of your oppression is tough to bear, and makes you wanna give up the fight.
But hey, at least you're Christian, male, and white.

at least our President doesn't blame you when you make a mess.
at least you're not a jew or a muslim, that'd cause you some distress.
and hey, at least you do not have a vagina, you'd be earning about 20% less.
and hey, at least you're not a negro, that'd be the worst of all, I guess!

I know the pain of your oppression is tough to bear, and makes you wanna give up the fight.
so carry that tiki torch and shout your grievances into the central Virginia night.
and What Would Jesus Do? he would say, "hey white boys, what you're doing ain't right."
But hey,
at least you're a Christian,
hey, at least you're a Christian,
hey, at least you're Christian, male, and white!

That oppression don't feel so bad now, does it?