We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Sandpaper Man (#3 of 262)

from making an omelet (262 songs, volume 1) by Brendan Milburn

supported by
Robert Whyte
Robert Whyte thumbnail
herefox
herefox thumbnail
/

  • Buy the Full Digital Album

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a gatefold brown sleeve, hand-stamped and designed by me, along with a 28-page color booklet (made at home!) with all lyrics and the graphics from each single-of-the-week.

    Each CD case is individually numbered and signed.

    Includes unlimited streaming of making an omelet (262 songs, volume 1) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 100 

      $7 USD or more 

     

about

This is the third of my proposed 262 song-a-weeks. Wish me luck! And thanks for listening. If you'd like to see the video, it's here: youtu.be/q2jgLhXSMjk

lyrics

When you need a handy man who's ready willing and able
baby I'm your man
Can I bevel off the corners on your new coffee table?
baby yes I can

do you need to take that coat of paint right off of your chair
but you hate the smell of turpentine
well don't you let your furniture fill you with despair,
you just get on your phone and get me on the line,

I'm the sandpaper man.
(He turned into a sandpaper man.)
I'm the sandpaper man.
(He turned into a sandpaper man.)

I got sandpaper on my fingers
I got sandpaper on my feet
I got sandpaper clothes, from my head to my toes
I ain't shaking your hand when we meet.
So if I don't get too close to you, I hope that you understand:
it's cause I'm the sandpaper man.

so I like to hang around outside my local Home Depot
by them orange exit doors
'Cause I like to use my superpowers for helping people
shaving splinters off their two-by-fours.

yeah, I used to be a husband and a regular guy
and I used to have all regular skin
then I mutated into this thing and I'll never know why,
ain't no point in wishing 'bout the way that things might have been,

when you're the sandpaper man.
yeah, I'm the sandpaper man.
I got a superhero costume,
with a superhero cape

but I'm steering clear of attachment here,
'cause I tend to scratch and scrape.
so let's keep things all superficial, stay away as far as you can,
'cause I'm the sandpaper man.

you know those times you try so hard to cause the least amount of pain?
you know those times you try to make it easier on everyone?
you know those times you cannot bring yourself to rip the band-aid off
and watch the wound get more infected every single day until you
finally get the courage up to get this thing all over and done?

the road to hell is paved with stuff like this, like this well-intentioned plan.
follow it to the letter, and you'll turn into sandpaper man.

I'm just the sandpaper man
yeah I'm the sandpaper man
it'll hurt if you come near me,
it'll hurt you if we touch,
and it's hard to believe, but my heart's on my sleeve,
and it hurts me just as much.
and maybe someday I'll get my costume off and get a hug
and get a kiss
and get a tan
but for now I got to keep my distance
keep to myself
but when you need something sanded down, just ask for my help
'cause I'm the sandpaper man.

well my right hand is good for drywall
and my left works well for raw wood
I got emery boards on my fingernails
and my feet do fiberglass and metal pretty good

credits

from making an omelet (262 songs, volume 1), track released August 20, 2016
all singing and instrumenting and producering by Brendan Milburn.
The electric guitar plugin I'm using is RealStrat 2.0, and it's awesome - www.musiclab.com/products/realstrat/info.html
copyright (c) 2016 by Brendan Milburn
administered by WB Music Corp

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Brendan Milburn image

Brendan Milburn Seattle, Washington

Brendan Milburn is a music teacher and a dad. In his former life he wrote musicals, songs for animated movies, shows for theme parks and cruise lines. He used to play in a band called GrooveLily. Now he has chickens, cats, and kids, and he is making a song a week. ... more

contact / help

Contact Brendan Milburn

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

Brendan Milburn recommends:

If you like Brendan Milburn, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Saxophonist Isaiah Collier chats about his new LP and the influence of Pharoah Sanders.
listen now