ERIC
(a cappella)
YOU’RE THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD FOR ME...

(Fearing what he assumes to be the unwelcome intrusion of a fan, Conti sinks lower in his chair.)

ERIC
Conti?

CONTI
Eric? What the hell--?!

(and Eric, seizing the moment and the zydeco sounds of the nearby busking musicians, launches into a number mocking his old friend:)

ERIC
Well, the word on the street is my buddy from college
has made his way to the city that I call home
and the word on the street, to the best of my knowledge,
is someone else musta booked the superdome.
'cause look at the flyer (holds it up) - he's playing some bar!
Whatcha gonna do, pass 'round the tip jar?
How the mighty have fallen, and they've fallen so far,
but I'm hopin' that you'll land on your feet.
It's been a long time since I've seen my old buddy,
so I'm giving you a hard time,
and that's the word on the street.

(probably an embrace, the straight guy awkward back-slapping thing as they hug with one arm)

(So they awkwardly catch up - Eric is unwilling to have a 9 AM drink with Conti - he's a grownup now, unlike some people. Oh yeah? Growing up is overrated - it's on my bucket list. So what are you doing now?
I'm a doctor.
They let you be a doctor?)
(Eric shows him a business card. Conti starts singing back to him)

CONTI
Word on the street: my old buddy's a physician
M.D., Ph.D., B.F.D.,
he's all grown up, but I'll make it my mission
to make my old buddy have a little drink with me.
'cause look at yourself! You're wearing slacks and a tie!
what happened to that fun-loving, partying guy,
who would never let the good times roll on by,
put the pager down and grab yourself a seat!
It's been a long time since I've seen my old buddy,
let's raise a glass to old times, that's the word on the street.

(Dialog about: All right. Anyone tell you you're a bad influence? Yeah, everybody. Cheers. Clink. So how's it going for you? Well, I'm staying in this B&B next door to these Rappaccini people - you know anything about them?)

(The Rappaccinis?)

(a hush falls over the passersby and the band...)

ERIC:
Word on the street, man, you gotta steer clear there
lotta bad ju-ju in that old man's place
Word on the street: you better not go near there,

(Conti smiles)

so wipe that knowing grin off your smug little face.
Messing with stuff you don't wanna know,
trying to go places you don't wanna go,
Why do I get the feeling that you're gonna igno'
alla this and jump in with both feet?
You haven't changed a bit in twenty years, you old rascal,
staying at the bars until they're calling out the last call,
I'm always Beaver Cleaver and you're always Eddie Haskell
don't go looking for trouble, boy. That's the word on the street.